She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
