Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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