I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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