She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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