Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
