But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
