will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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