I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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