I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
