Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
