Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its not stalking. its research.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Damn victory sex feels great
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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