Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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