i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize