Your mouth is God's brothel.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
