yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
