Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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