Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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