Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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