this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
