Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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