Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We have so much sex to catch up on
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
