Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Shame is for Republicans.
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