People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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