Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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