FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Sober January is a disaster.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
