is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
