just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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