I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im holly from the hills drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
