Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize