I hate all girls vehemently.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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