It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
