Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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