whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
