Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
