so explain again why im purple
no
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Couch. On fire.
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