yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
