we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
