I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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