chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize