I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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