wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
