I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
