hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
