Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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