it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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