he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize