I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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