I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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