Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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