They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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