have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
