then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
