dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dignity is for republicans.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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