2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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