R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
