i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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