Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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