I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
