I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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