dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
