I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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