so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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