Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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