Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
