Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
