dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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