Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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