i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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