Duck Duck Cougar?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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