Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
