My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
